An article from The Totally Bitchin' Age. (My story for class.)

Everyone in class need to write a piece showing the everyday life of Melbourne, so I wrote a newspaper article explaining the different factions in the city. Enjoy.

An Article taken from The Totally Bitchin’ Age, on the 3^rd of September 2051:

By Atomic Top Hat.

On September 5, 2051, the Happy Little Vanomites, the military origination in trusted with enforcing peace between the states and the Australian population, will officially begin its ‘disrupters extermination’ program, in what they believe will help keep the peace as the first anniversary of the states war rapidly approaches. “Each house hold will receive a package containing a refrigerator magnet containing a list of groups of individuals that are a treat to the peace and phone numbers good citizens can call if they see said individuals performing anti-social actives.” General Peak, commander of the HLV stated. “Citizens should not heritage to call it loved ones or relatives. To not do so for such feeble ideas such as ‘mate ship,’ will only weaken us.” Numerous members of parliament have denounced the campaign as un-Australian before mysteriously disappearing. “Un-Australian? The Happy Little Vanomites insure peace at any cost, without idea like love or friendship to taint them. What could be anymore Australian than that?” The General stated.

Making the list included former Australian experimental soldiers that had been enhanced with the element ‘Vanomite,’ a dark ooze-like spore, which the Happy Little Vanomites get their name from. The HLV has requested that The Totally Bitchin’ Age publish some of the groups so citizens have a chance to recognize them

+ The Kellys - Named after the famous outlaw, Ned Kelly and his armour. The Kellys were the bulk of the Australian States army, before the Happy Little Vanomites replaced them. Due to Vanomite experimentation and strict training, combined with their top performance power armour, the Kellys were the greatest soldiers in Australia at the time, possibly even the world, Many Kellys still wear their armour, even after their disbandment and are seen as Robin Hood characters by some. However General Peak insures us the Kelly and any supporters will be dealt with swiftly. They’re some exception to the Kellys such as Baron Von Evil, master of the Von Evil University.

+ The Hoplites – Cloned from the greatest football players in the history of Australia combined with the power on Vanomite, the Hoplites are giants among men. On average, they tend to be about 8 feet and are super humanly strong. They are incredibly war like, forming clans and starting fights with almost anything that displeases them. The Hoplites don armour fashioned after the warrior of ancient Greece or Rome and wear the colour of their clans.

+The Song Vipers – Masters of impossible feats and most often insane, the Song Vipers are easily recognized for wearing Renaissance period carnival outfits, their bizarre body movements and even more minds. Originally made to be Australia’s spies and assassins, they are known for being incredibly flexible due to their extra bone joints in their arms, legs and spines as well as having venomous fangs with has been grated through the power of Vanomite, but as a side effect they are all insane and delight in interfering with other people’s lives causing them joy or pain.

+ The Tech Mages – Through Vanomites the Tech Mages were grated mental powers over machines and are able build, power or sabotage using only a thought. Although most of the former Tech Mages have been contained by the Happy Little Vanomites to maintain the HLV ‘peace-keeping’ machines, pockets of rogue Tech Mages still exist, and consisted top priority for HLV.

These individuals can often be found hiding in the city of Melbourne, as the Happy Little Vanomites are yet to gain full control over the city, due the stubbornness of it’s people. “We only want what’s best for the people of Melbourne, so was ask that they surrender these treats to the peace.” The Happy Little Vanomites have also requested any information on anyone mentioning anything known as ‘The Oasis,’ as such talk could damage the very peace itself.

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Some of the ex-soldiers the Happy Little Vanomites will be looking for. From left to right then to the bottom, a Kelly, a Tech Mage, a Song Viper and a Hoplite.